I have been blessed to be in relationship with the most caring, loving, compassionate, creative, wonderful, exciting, generous, perfect person in the world for the last 28 months. If you know me at all you know that I am referring to my wonderful soon to be wife, Jennifer Schroeder. We have been together for 28 wonderful months and in this time we have had to spend 19 of those months apart. She has been in Indianapolis, I have been in Cincinnati. For a short amount of time it looked like we would be close again, (my internship at Emmanuel Church of Greenwood), but that changed when I was blessed to serve at Groesbeck United Methodist Church here in Cincinnati. Do not get me wrong, I am so honored to be serving at this place where lives are being changed daily and I have the ability to speak into the lives of students and get to call it my "job". But there is still something missing.
My heart is somewhere else and it is in Indianapolis with my wonderful fiancé. It is something that only those who are in love would understand, but when you are apart there is such a sense of loneliness it is sometimes unbearable. We will be getting married on March 10th and the long wait of separation will finally be over. Looking at that date does not make the days ahead any easier. Jennifer will be finishing school and I starting work here in Cincinnati doing what we both love, but it is so hard to do with the other to share it with.
If I can be totally transparent, this is something I struggle. I struggle with the question of why would God put us doing such great things, but apart. I do not understand. I know in the scheme of a lifetime these last couple of months are not going to mean anything, but right now it feels like an eternity. It feels like part of my soul is somewhere else.
What I have come to understand over these wonderful 28 months is that it is a journey and God is only preparing us for our life together. A life of ministry, love, compassion, hope, joy, sadness, and once again love. God has ordained us to be in these places for this time for a reason and right now I am searching for the reason why.
As explained by Francis Chan in his most recent book Erasing Hell, we are merely the clay being molded for a much better purpose by the potter. It is outrageous to think that we have a say in what the final piece of work the potter is creating. But this unknown is hard to handle.
In these last couple of months I am merely going to pray. Pray for God's leadership, guidance and growth. And most of all I will be anxiously awaiting the day when Jennifer and I can begin our life together. Nothing excites me more than that day. This feeling is something I never thought I would feel, but God has blessed me with the opportunity to truly feel love. A love that transcends the distance between Indianapolis and Cincinnati and a love that will truly endure whatever life throws at us.
I anxiously await the day that I can call her my wife and I can love and serve her for the rest of my life.
till THAT day,
normallyINDIE
No comments:
Post a Comment